Keep it Down Up There!

Many of you know that in my NoCal apartment, I live on the ground floor. The major pro is that I have a huge patio and I don't have to cart my luggage up and down the stairs every time I travel (which, as you also know, is frequently). The major con is that within the last couple of months, a new family of grizzly bears has moved in directly above me. Seriously - the noise that comes from this unit is unreal. And it's not even like they're having rowdy parties or anything -- they're just simply noisy. Every seemingly normal, mundane action (like walking down the hall) is amplified about 1000 times to the point where my walls reverberate, my doors rattle in their frames and my books shimmy on their shelves. And it happens continuously. (Don't these people ever just sit down??)

It's gotten to the point now where I am just downright curious about what's going on up there because there is no way that people make this much noise just going about their normal day-to-day tasks.

Here are my best guests:

• They have opened a gym in order to make some extra cash and I'm the only one of my neighbours who isn't up there, heaving around weights and medicine balls.
• The San Francisco 49er's have relocated their existing Santa Clara practice facility.
• There are ongoing African dance (and drum circle!) lessons and events going on ... all with admittedly terrible rhythm.
• Hippo racing has finally caught on.
• They just bought an interest in a winery, the only catch being that they actually have to stomp the grapes themselves -- old school!
• Mickey Rourke is holding classes and demonstrations on wrestling moves in order to make some cash just in case this "comeback" thing doesn't quite pan out.
• The UFC, WWF, MMA and any other acronym that basically stands for "way too much testosterone (and steroids)" has set up new headquarters.

Honestly, I think I'm going to start leaving DVD's of VERY long mini-series and movies on their front door step just to see if I can get them to be still for a couple of hours.