Count Me In!

The government is after me. (No, not like THAT -- I'm transitioning from legit visa holder to legit greencard holder as we speak!) The government is after me to fill out a 28 page form that I believe is technically for the census, but it's actually cleverly called "The American Community Survey" -- cozy, huh?

Truth be told, I actually don't mind filling out forms like this. Having once been a census-taker for a summer job in Canada (funny stories there for another time), I definitely empathize with how difficult it is to get people to complete these forms. Also, having a background in business/marketing/strategy, I understand the value of survey data and how it can be used to help make important decisions.

(And mostly, since I'm not a citizen and don't get to vote, I figure this is the closest I'll get to having some input on things for a while!)

The Census Bureau sent me a nice letter a couple of weeks ago informing me that I would soon be receiving a package in the mail and that it was very important that I answer the questions and send back the survey in a timely manner. Then as promised, a few days later, the survey package arrived in the mail. (The government actually keeping its word? Alert the press!) And now they are peppering me with little post cards, reminding me to fill out the survey and please send it back promptly. (Someone paid attention in Communications 101 class when the professor outlined the key rules in communicating: "Tell them what you're going to tell them; then tell them; then tell them what you told them.")

So, I've completed the survey and I will do my duty as a (nearly) permanent resident of the United States (who still can't vote, but who can pay taxes like she's the government's petty cash account) and I will send it back tomorrow.

But before I do, I had to share a few questions that I wish had the option of a write-in answer instead of just the "yes" and "no" boxes:

-- Because of a physical, mental or emotional condition, does this person have serious difficulty concentrating, remembering or making decisions?

I'm sorry, what was the question again?

-- Does this person have serious difficulty walking or climbing stairs?

Why do you think I live on the first floor?? And I must not, under any circumstance, be allowed to chew gum while attempting either of these two activities.

-- Does this person have difficulty dressing or bathing?

Bathing -- once a fortnight whether I need it or not. (Is soap a requirement?)
Dressing -- I'm going through an "inside out" phase right now, but no one gets close enough to really realize it due to the "bathing" point above.