Bad (aka Stupid) Things Happen in Three's

I am not a clumsy person. Honestly. But if you'd been following me around with a hidden camera today, you would have thought that I was Inspector Clouseau's next of kin.

Stupid thing #1 happened on my bright and early flight to New York City. And actually, it wasn't even because of anything that I did, but lookers-on thought for sure that I was the culprit, based on their pursed lips and disapproving glances. I was in an aisle seat and when my neighbour in the middle seat (very nice lady, but had a lot going on with her backpack, all sorts of food, beverages etc) asked if she could get up because she wasn't feeling very well, I immediately hopped up to make way. As she attempted to shift her bag, food and beverages, she very neatly dumped a full glass of water squarely on my seat. (This is the one time when the optimist actually wishes for a half empty glass.) Since the flight was full, I couldn't switch seats, so was resigned to mopping up as much as I could and then folding up a blanket and sitting on that for the remaining three and a half hours of the journey. As an upside, I did make friends with my seat mate upon her return and we're now connected on random social networks.

Stupid thing #2 happened within about 15 minutes of me arriving at my hotel, and again, wasn't strictly anything that I did, but I sure got the payback for something! As I was getting ready to meet my team for dinner, I noticed that the toilet had still not yet stopped running from when I had flushed it a few minutes before. I immediately opted for a very complex, sophisticated solution and tried jiggling the handle. No dice. I've "fixed" toilets before when the little chain has just gotten caught inside, not allowing the water valve to seal, so I figured I would probably be able to do the same here. When I lifted the lid from the tank, however, I was greeted by a loose hose that had popped out of one of the pipes and was now waving wildly from side to side, spraying water all over me and the bathroom. Trying to use the tank lid as a shield (a very small, ineffectual one), I managed to wrestle the hose back into the pipe and jam the lid back into place. And then I had to completely change my outfit before heading out to dinner.

I'd like to say that Stupid thing #3 was also not really directly my fault, but unfortunately, there's no way around this one. At dinner that night (at a very hip Japanese restaurant), I was regaling my colleagues with my stories of the day and one of them laughingly moved all the water glasses away from in front of me, lest I knock them all over in the spirit of the events of the preceding 10 or so hours. But no matter, with one dramatic wave of the hand, I managed to completely upend the little jar of house-made soy sauce and spill it all over the table.

More disapproving looks, this time from our server, and I thought I'd try to lighten the mood with a french accented "Monsieur, don't try to be funnayy with me!" but I didn't think she'd appreciate it.