Sunday, July 1, 2007

Happy Canada Day, Eh!


For all you friends and family north of the 49th, Happy Canada Day!! One year ago today, Special K and I were in Vancouver and we accidentally stumbled into a situation where patrons were wearing t-shirts that proclaimed “Happy Cannabis Day!”, but that’s another story for another time.

So as a tribute to all that makes us unique in the world, here’s a list I’ve cobbled together from various places on the internet and from the recesses of my own brain:

You know you’re Canadian When:

- You know that “Jagged Little Pill” was not Alanis Morissette’s first CD.

- You know all the words to "If I had a Million Dollars" by The Barenaked Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed.

- You brag that Santa Claus lives in Canada and you know that his postal code is HOH OHO.

- You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."

- You can sing "O Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean!

- You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.

- You know the French equivalents of "free," "prize" and "no sugar added," thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

- You still haven't taken down your "NON" posters from the 95 Referendum.

- You wished that Relic's boat would get crushed to bits by one of those logs.

- You understand the sentence "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my bowl of poutine."

- You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars. (Coffee Crisp, Aero and Mr. Big to name a few.)

- You know what a 1-2 and a 2-4 are (and you probably learned when you were still in high school!)

- You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't WANT to know if he has!

- You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."

- You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.

- You know what Kraft Dinner and Kraft Singles are.

- Your municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.

- You pronounce the last letter of the alphabet "zed" instead of "zee."

- You read rather than scanned this list.

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