Seriously, while I was on this shoot in LA, I should have been wearing one of those little stick-on name tags that they use at conferences the world over that cheerfully proclaim, "Hello! My Name is _______". And yes, contrary to popular belief, the blank should have been filled with "Talent". And no, this is not self-proclaimed (for once).
Every time I went somewhere... "Where's the talent?"..... Every time it was time to refresh my look.... "Talent to Makeup!".... "Talent to Wardrobe!".... when the food came at midday... "Did the talent eat lunch?".... and my very favorite, yelled by the guy missing a front tooth, "TALENT ON SET!!!" to which I replied "I'm right behind you" and nearly made him jump straight into the cameras. (Guess he didn't recognize me with the blonde hair.)
Even Geoff, the director, seemingly momentarily confused me for actual, bona fide "talent" because at one point he was directing me on set from behind the multi-camera apparatus and he said "ok, for this part, pull out all the stops and use your best method acting".... I just looked at him and starting laughing.... "Um, you picked me because I am a REAL woman, remember? I have no idea what you're even talking about." At that point, the whole crew cracked up... which may have had more to do with it being almost 1:00 am (and we'd been on set since 8:00 am) and less to do with my witty repartee with the director.
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